Dear Mr. President Obama,
I recently signed a petition regarding the acting DEA chief, which has since gathered over 125,000 signatures as of this writing, and have been eagarly awaiting a response from the White House. I hope your delayed response is due to deep consideration on the matter.
I have decided to write this letter because I am not entirely satisfied with the scope and wording of the petition- I feel much was left unsaid.
Several congress members have also sent you a letter on the subject, which makes several of the important points the petition didn't address so I won't waste the words repeating theirs.
Mr. President, you have said in the past that young people should be concerned about climate change, jobs, the economy, war and peace, and that marijuana legalization should not be our highest priority. I absolutely agree those are important concerns. But someone needs to point out that the marijuana industry in Colorado has been the most successful economic and jobs booster the country has seen since the recession, and the state has profited to extremes.
If we should be worried about climate change and the environment as you have stated, we should allow farmers to grow industrial hemp- it's a green source of biofuel, bioplastics, construction materials, paper products, clothing, food, and more. A cheap, drought resistant crop, it would stimulate our economy from farmer to consumer.
There is no good reason this plant should be illegal. There is nothing negative about marijuana that isn't also true about alcohol or cigarettes, except its legal status, a draconian double standard. The mere fact that it is illegal creates far more problems in the world and costs the country much more money than if it were a taxable commodity. The only ones who benefit from this system are Big Money groups.
I understand you may be concerned about the stereotypical stigma of being our first African-American president and legalizing marijuana, and the role model you present to your daughters. But the status quo is based on Victorian morality to which most of the country no longer ascribes, propaganda and corruption from Big Money, and a legacy of racism as demonstrated by the very use of the word "marijuana," as opposed to "cannabis" or "hemp."
I have no doubt you read the recommendation to legalize from the Global Commission on Drug Policy in 2011, signed by many respected world leaders and intellectuals. They agree: it's really in the best interest of the people. But if you're unwilling to effect that, please at least overhaul the DEA so it no longer hinders progress. If the government seriously thinks that medical marijuana involves smoking the "leaves" as the acting DEA chief said, and that's what is being sent out as research grade marijuana, it's no wonder we're getting skewed results from government approved science- it's the wrong part of the plant. Research grade marijuana needs to equal the standard of medical grade marijuana buds available in dispensaries. Period.
Thank you for your time and consideration. This affects millions of Americans in our everyday lives, and we depend on you to do the right thing.
Respectfully yours,
Raven Wildchild
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Response to Bill Maher, "Why do they hate us so much?"
The other day, Bill Maher asked a question regarding ISIS that stumped his panel: "Why do they hate us so much?" It's a great question, and I'm sure the Daesh have a laundry list of reasons, but those are only excuses as to why they chose to level their hate at Western society. The real question, whose answer has fueled Middle East unrest for millennia, is, "Why do people hate?" The "they" and "us" labels translate to whatever situation presents itself.
Chances are, there are things or people you hate, dear Reader. Turn on Lewis Black, and he'll have you laughing about all the things he hates. It's "cool" to hate teen pop stars if you're not a fan, and "moral" people often think they should hate wrongdoers, so as to identify oneself as "good." So hate is pretty universal, and for some reason appears easier to identify with than love.
We see it every day: acceptable, "harmless" hatred, even expected- your job, for instance. Hatred is used to influence us and to unite us. And people who hate together reinforce the rationalisation for that hatred, and what starts small escalates. The U.S. has its own history of lynch mobs and witch hunts, and even has its own religious extremists, like the ones who bomb Planned Parenthood clinics.
People turn to hate when times are tough- look at Germany between the first and second World Wars. I think there is a primal part of our brain that responds with hatred because it's easier for the primal brain to create a perceived enemy to fight than to accept the unknown in it's struggle to survive. Part of what makes us human is the ability to rise above primal instinct, so there is always hope, but rising above takes effort and people have to be motivated to do so.
Presidential hopeful John Kasich wants to create an agency to "spread Judeo-Christian values" in the Middle East, as he believes it will promote peace and inclusiveness. Kaish is completely ignoring a number of historical events if he thinks this will actually work, like the fact that there have been Christian missionaries in the Middle East for centuries with no luck, and like the fact that Christian nations have never in practice been peaceful or inclusive (the Inquisition and the Crusades come to mind- inclusiveness is found in secular countries, like the U.S.) Any messages we try to send to the Middle East will fall upon deaf ears unless they fit into the listeners' preconceived paradigm. That is, a Muslim is going to reject Judeo-Christian messages as fervently as Christian lawmakers have rejected Wiccan prayers to be offered before meetings.
Really, there are a lot of parallels between Islam and Christianity. Both are Abrahamic religions, broken off from Judaism, both have a messianic figure who dictates the religion's beliefs and values, both have followers who attempt to suppress alternative viewpoints and lifestyles (gay marriage, for example), and both have extremists who are willing to become violent to "defend their beliefs."
Ironically, beliefs themselves do not need defending- truth will go on being true regardless of who believes it or not, the world will go on being round whether or not the Inquisition convicts Galileo. Boys whose mother is insulted ("Your mother is a hamster, and your father smells of elderberries!") are not actually protecting their mother from whatever the other boy said when they start the fist fight. The winner of the fight will not determine whether one's mother was really a hamster or not, and no act of violence will ever prove one's religion to be true or greater than another. The idea is childish, yet we see it regularly, if in less extreme forms. People defending Christmas? From what- the right to celebrate Chanukah or Yule or Kwanzaa? It's awfully disrespectful to insist your holiday be acknowledged to the exclusion of all others. If Jesus really is the reason for the season, listen to his preaching on the Golden Rule- if you want your holiday acknowledged, do the same to others.
But there's the problem. People get so bent out of shape about who's right that they forget to follow what their divine figure taught them about peace and love. Those people have Belief, but they do not have Faith in their God's wisdom and power, which shows it's OK for people to be different, because that's how things are. If God wanted some country blasted off the face of the Earth, the Old Testament tells believers He is perfectly capable of doing so, but chooses peace. His followers are instructed to do the same. But on some level, people want to hate, and I don't understand why.
Chances are, there are things or people you hate, dear Reader. Turn on Lewis Black, and he'll have you laughing about all the things he hates. It's "cool" to hate teen pop stars if you're not a fan, and "moral" people often think they should hate wrongdoers, so as to identify oneself as "good." So hate is pretty universal, and for some reason appears easier to identify with than love.
We see it every day: acceptable, "harmless" hatred, even expected- your job, for instance. Hatred is used to influence us and to unite us. And people who hate together reinforce the rationalisation for that hatred, and what starts small escalates. The U.S. has its own history of lynch mobs and witch hunts, and even has its own religious extremists, like the ones who bomb Planned Parenthood clinics.
People turn to hate when times are tough- look at Germany between the first and second World Wars. I think there is a primal part of our brain that responds with hatred because it's easier for the primal brain to create a perceived enemy to fight than to accept the unknown in it's struggle to survive. Part of what makes us human is the ability to rise above primal instinct, so there is always hope, but rising above takes effort and people have to be motivated to do so.
Presidential hopeful John Kasich wants to create an agency to "spread Judeo-Christian values" in the Middle East, as he believes it will promote peace and inclusiveness. Kaish is completely ignoring a number of historical events if he thinks this will actually work, like the fact that there have been Christian missionaries in the Middle East for centuries with no luck, and like the fact that Christian nations have never in practice been peaceful or inclusive (the Inquisition and the Crusades come to mind- inclusiveness is found in secular countries, like the U.S.) Any messages we try to send to the Middle East will fall upon deaf ears unless they fit into the listeners' preconceived paradigm. That is, a Muslim is going to reject Judeo-Christian messages as fervently as Christian lawmakers have rejected Wiccan prayers to be offered before meetings.
Really, there are a lot of parallels between Islam and Christianity. Both are Abrahamic religions, broken off from Judaism, both have a messianic figure who dictates the religion's beliefs and values, both have followers who attempt to suppress alternative viewpoints and lifestyles (gay marriage, for example), and both have extremists who are willing to become violent to "defend their beliefs."
Ironically, beliefs themselves do not need defending- truth will go on being true regardless of who believes it or not, the world will go on being round whether or not the Inquisition convicts Galileo. Boys whose mother is insulted ("Your mother is a hamster, and your father smells of elderberries!") are not actually protecting their mother from whatever the other boy said when they start the fist fight. The winner of the fight will not determine whether one's mother was really a hamster or not, and no act of violence will ever prove one's religion to be true or greater than another. The idea is childish, yet we see it regularly, if in less extreme forms. People defending Christmas? From what- the right to celebrate Chanukah or Yule or Kwanzaa? It's awfully disrespectful to insist your holiday be acknowledged to the exclusion of all others. If Jesus really is the reason for the season, listen to his preaching on the Golden Rule- if you want your holiday acknowledged, do the same to others.
But there's the problem. People get so bent out of shape about who's right that they forget to follow what their divine figure taught them about peace and love. Those people have Belief, but they do not have Faith in their God's wisdom and power, which shows it's OK for people to be different, because that's how things are. If God wanted some country blasted off the face of the Earth, the Old Testament tells believers He is perfectly capable of doing so, but chooses peace. His followers are instructed to do the same. But on some level, people want to hate, and I don't understand why.
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Would you go back in time to kill Hitler as a baby?
An online poll asking, "Would you go back in time to kill Adolph Hitler as a baby?" has shown that the majority of would indeed do that, given the opportunity. Presidential hopeful gave a resounding "Hell yes!" when asked the question, stating "You've got to step up."
A lot of controversy is going around regarding the Butterfly Effect of such an act, because we have no idea how that would affect the timeline. For one thing, Israel would not exist. Hitler had a huge impact on the modern world, down to American human rights- we strove to be more inclusive in our society to separate ourselves from them. Without him, who knows how history would have played out? Perhaps some other country commits the same atrocities, or another dictator takes Germany down the same path. The risk really isn't worth it.
And what about the morality of the situation? Under the historical circumstances, yes, that child did grow up to be Adolph Hitler, genocidal maniac, but at the time of his birth he was as innocent as any human being. There's another paradox here: by killing the baby Hitler, you erase his crimes, and it's no longer justice, just infanticide. You become the monster, a Herod. And isn't Jeb Bush a pro-lifer? Does he really not see the irony here? He's so proud of his Christianity, but does he forget the 10 Commandments when it matters? Other GOP candidates have suggested that only Christians are fit for the office of President (completely the opposite of the constitution), but one needs to uphold their ideals even under the most dire of circumstances, else those ideals mean nothing. Jeb, don't be a hypocristian.
A lot of controversy is going around regarding the Butterfly Effect of such an act, because we have no idea how that would affect the timeline. For one thing, Israel would not exist. Hitler had a huge impact on the modern world, down to American human rights- we strove to be more inclusive in our society to separate ourselves from them. Without him, who knows how history would have played out? Perhaps some other country commits the same atrocities, or another dictator takes Germany down the same path. The risk really isn't worth it.
And what about the morality of the situation? Under the historical circumstances, yes, that child did grow up to be Adolph Hitler, genocidal maniac, but at the time of his birth he was as innocent as any human being. There's another paradox here: by killing the baby Hitler, you erase his crimes, and it's no longer justice, just infanticide. You become the monster, a Herod. And isn't Jeb Bush a pro-lifer? Does he really not see the irony here? He's so proud of his Christianity, but does he forget the 10 Commandments when it matters? Other GOP candidates have suggested that only Christians are fit for the office of President (completely the opposite of the constitution), but one needs to uphold their ideals even under the most dire of circumstances, else those ideals mean nothing. Jeb, don't be a hypocristian.
Saturday, October 3, 2015
EXIT The American Dream, ENTER American Despair
It hit a little close to home when I heard there was another school shooting at a small Oregon college, as I work at one. I believe I read that this was the 142nd school shooting since 2012, and the 45th this year alone. Very disturbing numbers indeed. The politicians are calling for gun control again, which I do think there should be better background checks and the like, but it's not the root of the problem. My school had its own tragedy last year, when one of our football players was stabbed to death while waiting in line at 7eleven across the street from campus. The suspect was dispatched by police shortly after, but no motive was ever uncovered, and the murderer had apparently never even met his victim before. The weapon choice is incidental, based on whatever is available, just like the homemade bombs favored by Muslim extremists.
This blog makes some good suggestions for prevention of such tragedies.
The community outreach-type work described in the blog has been shown to be more effective than federal programs and policing, but that is still only treating the symptom. We need to consider what has caused us to skyrocket to 10 times the rate of youth violence seen in other developed countries.
When I was younger, people said that apathy was problem with our culture; I'd say we've moved from apathetic to despairing. What else could we do? The American Dream has become a taunt from the financial elite; the hard work that once paid off only manages us to keep us stationary, which seems better than sinking back into the quagmire. Our culture has become stuck in it's old patterns because there was once honor in what we did, and we are desperately trying to fill outdated expectations and somehow revive that honor. Capitalism worked well for most everyone while it was regulated, but now it's corrupted and we're still behaving like we expect it to work as it did before. We clock in to our regulated lives now, with little free time, less spending money, no room for advancement, and lots of neurotic attempts to comfort ourselves with how responsible we're being, because this is the way it's done. We went to college because we didn't want to "throw our lives away," loaded ourselves with debt, and got stuck working in food service anyway. And when we ask, "Is this all there is to life?" we are answered with a resounding "Yes."
Despite the obvious flaws in the corrupt system, the culture here is still very attached to capitalism, and alternative lifestyles are rather frowned upon. But if we don't address the issues of income equality and life satisfaction soon, the population will fall further into poverty and the crime rate will rise. But if I'm right about despair being a motivating emotion behind these mass shootings, then I believe we can ward off despair with curiosity, creativity, and passion (they became way uncool around apathy o'clock and are due for a comeback). All three emotions can be triggered by the Arts, and it's time we bring the arts back to our schools and communities. Currently in our culture, the perceived value of art is generally very low, a perception that has in recent years had a powerful effect on the quality of films and other arts industries here. Remember how much better movies were in the '90s? Today, tired plotlines and poor CGFX dominate because Hollywood no longer values its artists. (Or really, any of its workers, but most of them have unions.)
The oversupply of workers and shortage of jobs that pay reasonable salaries make employees less valuable to the companies than they were 15 years ago. On a certain subconscious level people believe that their paycheck defines their human value. And as we take those subconscious beliefs into the macrocosm, it should be no surprise that we are growing a disregard for that human life that is worth so little. To those who give up on the world and take out their frustrations through violence, it must seem like going down with guns blazing and a legacy attached to their name is more success than they will ever otherwise achieve. And success = value in our corrupted capitalist society.
So, my challenge to everyone in America is to apply some creativity this week and as often as possible to make the world more fun, beautiful, or intriguing in some way. Encourage someone's passion or curiosity if you can't find an idea of your own. Let's make living in America a little better by all taking responsibility for a single moment that could be improved with a song or a game or friendly encouragement. Because when we stand together, we're too big to fail.
This blog makes some good suggestions for prevention of such tragedies.
The community outreach-type work described in the blog has been shown to be more effective than federal programs and policing, but that is still only treating the symptom. We need to consider what has caused us to skyrocket to 10 times the rate of youth violence seen in other developed countries.
When I was younger, people said that apathy was problem with our culture; I'd say we've moved from apathetic to despairing. What else could we do? The American Dream has become a taunt from the financial elite; the hard work that once paid off only manages us to keep us stationary, which seems better than sinking back into the quagmire. Our culture has become stuck in it's old patterns because there was once honor in what we did, and we are desperately trying to fill outdated expectations and somehow revive that honor. Capitalism worked well for most everyone while it was regulated, but now it's corrupted and we're still behaving like we expect it to work as it did before. We clock in to our regulated lives now, with little free time, less spending money, no room for advancement, and lots of neurotic attempts to comfort ourselves with how responsible we're being, because this is the way it's done. We went to college because we didn't want to "throw our lives away," loaded ourselves with debt, and got stuck working in food service anyway. And when we ask, "Is this all there is to life?" we are answered with a resounding "Yes."
Despite the obvious flaws in the corrupt system, the culture here is still very attached to capitalism, and alternative lifestyles are rather frowned upon. But if we don't address the issues of income equality and life satisfaction soon, the population will fall further into poverty and the crime rate will rise. But if I'm right about despair being a motivating emotion behind these mass shootings, then I believe we can ward off despair with curiosity, creativity, and passion (they became way uncool around apathy o'clock and are due for a comeback). All three emotions can be triggered by the Arts, and it's time we bring the arts back to our schools and communities. Currently in our culture, the perceived value of art is generally very low, a perception that has in recent years had a powerful effect on the quality of films and other arts industries here. Remember how much better movies were in the '90s? Today, tired plotlines and poor CGFX dominate because Hollywood no longer values its artists. (Or really, any of its workers, but most of them have unions.)
The oversupply of workers and shortage of jobs that pay reasonable salaries make employees less valuable to the companies than they were 15 years ago. On a certain subconscious level people believe that their paycheck defines their human value. And as we take those subconscious beliefs into the macrocosm, it should be no surprise that we are growing a disregard for that human life that is worth so little. To those who give up on the world and take out their frustrations through violence, it must seem like going down with guns blazing and a legacy attached to their name is more success than they will ever otherwise achieve. And success = value in our corrupted capitalist society.
So, my challenge to everyone in America is to apply some creativity this week and as often as possible to make the world more fun, beautiful, or intriguing in some way. Encourage someone's passion or curiosity if you can't find an idea of your own. Let's make living in America a little better by all taking responsibility for a single moment that could be improved with a song or a game or friendly encouragement. Because when we stand together, we're too big to fail.
Saturday, September 26, 2015
Thoughts on Kim Davis and her fight against gay marriage
In following the Kim Davis case, in which a county clerk has been denying marriage licenses to gay couples because of her religious beliefs, I've wondered a lot how many people would take her seriously if she were not Christian but of a minority religion. If this were the case of a Muslim denying women the right to go to school based on beliefs in Sharia Law, there would be outrage. In my mind, all the recent pushes for "religious freedom" are really attempts to put Christianity above the law, because none of these activists would support religious exemptions for minority religions. Otherwise, where's my right to consume psilocybin mushrooms and peyote in Shamanic journeys, as have been used for millennia? We can thank Judge Scalia for the 1990 decision that allowing religious exemptions would cause legal chaos, with people claiming sincere beliefs to get out of every crime imaginable. How long until I have to fear for my life because someone believes "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live" is still valid?
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
On Bragging, its Social Acceptability, and Asperger's
I've been thinking about this subject today after reading a Huffpost article covering a study of bragging that was just published in Psychological Science.
The study compares the actual reaction of the listener to the reaction the speaker expects the listener to have, and calls the difference the "empathy gap." It then goes on to gauge listener's reactions to direct brags verses "humble" brags, where the brag is inserted "offhandedly" into a relatable statement. The Huffpost article offered examples:
Humble brag from Taylor Swift: "That moment when your cat casually walks up, then abruptly ATTACKS your Oscar de la Renta gown during your fitting for Met Ball."
Direct brag, from Kate Bratskeir: "I just won a gold medal!
The study itself equates the word with self-promotion, and claims the motivation to be "because they want others to hold favorable images of them." The so-called humble brag example does seem to fit that description, as Swift is using the cat to disguise an unabashed reference to her fame, fortune, and connections. Clearly she is concerned enough about public opinion that she won't say it as it is. If it had truly been about the cat, she needn't mention the designer or event.
But consider the second example... she just won a gold medal. She's happy. Who wouldn't be? She wants to celebrate it. Hell yeah! But no matter how she broaches the subject, it's slapped with a big, negative label: Bragging. It's her Twitter account, and the whole point of that networking site is to tweet about what's happening to you. What the fuck does society expect you to do, just pretend it didn't happen?
Funny, it seems to me that it would be more shallow to not celebrate your achievement out of fear that other people will think you're a braggart.
Asperger's could practically be described as a diagnosed empathy gap, and it's very common for Aspies to be called braggarts or narcissistic, but in our case the motivation has less to do with wanting to impress people and is more about absentmindedly blabbing about our favorite things. We do this because rehashing the information in a new way helps the autistic mind to comprehend it more deeply, make connections previously missed, and solve problems. Sorry, we're not really socially sophisticated enough to consider the reaction of the listener AT ALL. This was one of the things that hit me like lightning during that mushroom trip I talk about, and unless other Aspies have that lightning bolt revelation themselves, they cannot be taught.
Given that this empathy gap does exist, and the tendency of children is to speak freely of their accomplishments, I'm skeptical of society's unwritten rule that it's unacceptable to "brag." In a time when we are so influenced by meditation and mindfulness and taking responsibility for one's own emotions, this whole business of judging people negatively for being proud of something seems passive aggressive, not to mention counter to everything I learned from Sesame Street.
Serious question: why can't we be happy for the "braggarts" and celebrate ourselves as well? Why, really, is it so socially unacceptable to speak highly of oneself? I've heard told it makes a person seem narcissistic, but my experience, when a person does say something, they need the validation.
Why are people annoyed by bragging? Is it jealousy? Or maybe a fear of breaking the rule onself, and therefore anger toward those who do? Something I'm missing altogether? And why is it more acceptable to talk behind people's back than to talk about something that went right in your life?
I think I finally understand why NTs like small talk so much...
Cue the Dresden Doll's song "Good Day"
The study compares the actual reaction of the listener to the reaction the speaker expects the listener to have, and calls the difference the "empathy gap." It then goes on to gauge listener's reactions to direct brags verses "humble" brags, where the brag is inserted "offhandedly" into a relatable statement. The Huffpost article offered examples:
Humble brag from Taylor Swift: "That moment when your cat casually walks up, then abruptly ATTACKS your Oscar de la Renta gown during your fitting for Met Ball."
Direct brag, from Kate Bratskeir: "I just won a gold medal!
The study itself equates the word with self-promotion, and claims the motivation to be "because they want others to hold favorable images of them." The so-called humble brag example does seem to fit that description, as Swift is using the cat to disguise an unabashed reference to her fame, fortune, and connections. Clearly she is concerned enough about public opinion that she won't say it as it is. If it had truly been about the cat, she needn't mention the designer or event.
But consider the second example... she just won a gold medal. She's happy. Who wouldn't be? She wants to celebrate it. Hell yeah! But no matter how she broaches the subject, it's slapped with a big, negative label: Bragging. It's her Twitter account, and the whole point of that networking site is to tweet about what's happening to you. What the fuck does society expect you to do, just pretend it didn't happen?
Funny, it seems to me that it would be more shallow to not celebrate your achievement out of fear that other people will think you're a braggart.
Asperger's could practically be described as a diagnosed empathy gap, and it's very common for Aspies to be called braggarts or narcissistic, but in our case the motivation has less to do with wanting to impress people and is more about absentmindedly blabbing about our favorite things. We do this because rehashing the information in a new way helps the autistic mind to comprehend it more deeply, make connections previously missed, and solve problems. Sorry, we're not really socially sophisticated enough to consider the reaction of the listener AT ALL. This was one of the things that hit me like lightning during that mushroom trip I talk about, and unless other Aspies have that lightning bolt revelation themselves, they cannot be taught.
Given that this empathy gap does exist, and the tendency of children is to speak freely of their accomplishments, I'm skeptical of society's unwritten rule that it's unacceptable to "brag." In a time when we are so influenced by meditation and mindfulness and taking responsibility for one's own emotions, this whole business of judging people negatively for being proud of something seems passive aggressive, not to mention counter to everything I learned from Sesame Street.
Serious question: why can't we be happy for the "braggarts" and celebrate ourselves as well? Why, really, is it so socially unacceptable to speak highly of oneself? I've heard told it makes a person seem narcissistic, but my experience, when a person does say something, they need the validation.
Why are people annoyed by bragging? Is it jealousy? Or maybe a fear of breaking the rule onself, and therefore anger toward those who do? Something I'm missing altogether? And why is it more acceptable to talk behind people's back than to talk about something that went right in your life?
I think I finally understand why NTs like small talk so much...
Cue the Dresden Doll's song "Good Day"
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
On a Different Frequency... Literally?
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/7087828
The above article is about a study that correlates the stimulation of alpha waves to increased creativity, and the scientists are hoping to test further on the effect of stimulating alpha waves on clinical depression. Pretty straightforward, but a couple lines in the article got me thinking.
Alpha frequency brainwaves oscillate at 8-12 htz, and as the article states, if you are at rest, you are probably in alpha.
The article references previous research that suggests that highly creative people display a lot of alpha waves. This seems plausible, and I wondered... Most of the highly creative people I know either have Asperger's or similar tendencies. It's not uncommon for an Aspie to say they need space or quiet more than most, and we even have an unusual ability to maintain at-rest states WAY longer than NTs. I've been known to read for days on end, and when my friend Starwind gets into a writing streak, you have to hope he notices the sandwich you leave him.
I knew that the brains of Autism spectrum people are different from Neurotypicals (hence the distinction), specifically over-connected in short range and under-connected between regions and hemispheres. But I'd never seen anything related to brainwa
What I found was the last thing I expected.
A study titled "Resting State EEG Abnormalities in Autism Spectrum Disorders," published in the Journal of Neurodevelopmental Disorders in 2013, describes a common trend in EEG scans of ASD patients regardless of intellectual ability that sharply deviates from a neurotypical brainwave pattern.
In a Neurotypical at rest, alpha waves are indeed dominant, with beta waves (seen during activity) and theta waves (light sleep or deep meditation) having a little influence, but virtually no delta (dreaming) or gamma waves (hyper-awareness).
An autism spectrum person, however, shows alpha waves with greater power than seen in NTs, yet in the full spectrum alpha waves are the least powerful waves we experience. Theta and beta waves are stronger, while BOTH gamma and delta waves are peaking. It's a complete inversion, the graphs of the two showing a hill and a U shape. But the coherence of all the frequencies is reduced, which is expected with the under-connection between regions.
So this brings up a lot of questions... Like, are the hyper-creative people from the previous research on the spectrum? Do we even know?
I originally thought this was an issue of Aspies spending more time in states other than beta, the primary zone for NTs. That would explain why I'm "just not on the same wavelength" as anyone else, but the actual results are far more bizarre and telling than I expected.
The above article is about a study that correlates the stimulation of alpha waves to increased creativity, and the scientists are hoping to test further on the effect of stimulating alpha waves on clinical depression. Pretty straightforward, but a couple lines in the article got me thinking.
Alpha frequency brainwaves oscillate at 8-12 htz, and as the article states, if you are at rest, you are probably in alpha.
The article references previous research that suggests that highly creative people display a lot of alpha waves. This seems plausible, and I wondered... Most of the highly creative people I know either have Asperger's or similar tendencies. It's not uncommon for an Aspie to say they need space or quiet more than most, and we even have an unusual ability to maintain at-rest states WAY longer than NTs. I've been known to read for days on end, and when my friend Starwind gets into a writing streak, you have to hope he notices the sandwich you leave him.
I knew that the brains of Autism spectrum people are different from Neurotypicals (hence the distinction), specifically over-connected in short range and under-connected between regions and hemispheres. But I'd never seen anything related to brainwa
What I found was the last thing I expected.
A study titled "Resting State EEG Abnormalities in Autism Spectrum Disorders," published in the Journal of Neurodevelopmental Disorders in 2013, describes a common trend in EEG scans of ASD patients regardless of intellectual ability that sharply deviates from a neurotypical brainwave pattern.
In a Neurotypical at rest, alpha waves are indeed dominant, with beta waves (seen during activity) and theta waves (light sleep or deep meditation) having a little influence, but virtually no delta (dreaming) or gamma waves (hyper-awareness).
An autism spectrum person, however, shows alpha waves with greater power than seen in NTs, yet in the full spectrum alpha waves are the least powerful waves we experience. Theta and beta waves are stronger, while BOTH gamma and delta waves are peaking. It's a complete inversion, the graphs of the two showing a hill and a U shape. But the coherence of all the frequencies is reduced, which is expected with the under-connection between regions.
So this brings up a lot of questions... Like, are the hyper-creative people from the previous research on the spectrum? Do we even know?
I originally thought this was an issue of Aspies spending more time in states other than beta, the primary zone for NTs. That would explain why I'm "just not on the same wavelength" as anyone else, but the actual results are far more bizarre and telling than I expected.
Friday, April 17, 2015
Aspies and their Frenemies
I overheard one of the student workers talking about a "kid who everyone hates," and it kind of set me off today. Thank Goddess it was at the end of my shift. When I asked why everyone hates this kid, she gave me a list of Asperger's symptoms: dominates conversations, comes across as narcissistic, appears to have no empathy, rude...
So I told her it really sucks to be the kid everyone hates, because I've been there, and this person sounds just like me when I was a kid. She told me, as if to soften the blow, "Well, I always try to be nice when I'm around her."
"And I bet she thinks you're her friend?"
"Yeah, she does."
"That's even worse, when you find out all the people you think are your friends really hate you. Don't do that to her. Because I'm sure she doesn't really want to be all those things you said about her."
This is the movie-script summary of that account; obviously there was a lot more Aspie quirk involved on my part, being a particularly emotional subject.
The symptoms I mentioned above are, perhaps, the most irritating traits we have to Neurotypicals. And especially in those of us who are higher functioning, they don't seem like symptoms, but highly undesireable personality flaws.
Growing up, various well-meaning but ignorant family members attempted to give me advice on how to make friends, but their messages couldn't get through because it's like we speak a different language. Narcissistic/ arrogant? But how can I possibly be narcissistic when I have such a low self-esteem? Aspies are 10 times more likely to have suicidal thoughts than NTs. Unemphatic? Oh my God, didn't I just tell you that story about that tragedy that gives me the insight into your pain? Dominating conversations/ interrupting/ talking about stuff no one else cares about/ too loud/ rude? I'm interacting the only way I know how. I now know that I lack the mirror neurons to pick up on those social graces, and naturally tend to interact with the conversational skills of a young child- they don't understand about taking turns, when they get excited they want to tell you all about it, and manners are likely to be forgotten.
It's actually a bit ironic how NTs are so annoyed by our conversational habbits. When you get a group of Aspies on the same wavelength, we speak naturally, bluntly, interruptingly, and go off on wild tangents, returning to topic, then going off again and again. But the depth, complexity, detail and passion involved is unparalleled in NT chatting. We have no idea why you people engage in small talk... it serves NO purpose!
The insight I have on this topic is unusual- one of the hallmarks of Asperger's is our obliviousness to both social cues and our own lack of adherence to them. I have to give credit to psychedelic mushrooms. That experience changed my life. I saw it all for the first time- how everything I did was misinterpreted. It wasn't a problem with my personality, rather I realized the tactics I was using were not only ineffective, but counterproductive in the goal of making friends.
I also learned how to listen. And it was a shock to discover that I didn't know how before. But listening requires effort and patience and curiosity, which had never occurred to me.
Psilocybin mushrooms are, of course, illegal, but there has been a push recently to study their effects, particularly on depression. I'd love to see a study done on Aspies. There is simply no medication to help our condition, and without an expansion of consciousness we are doomed to repeat our mistakes forevermore.
Six months after my "trip," someone in my Vegas community said to me, "I don't know what happened, but you've become much more pleasant to be around." Kind of a jab within a compliment, but still the best news I'd ever heard.
I hope I made a difference for this person the student worker was talking about. It's horrible to be in that position, especially when you don't know why.
Even with the knowledge I have, interaction is still difficult. In fact, it's downright exhausting constantly trying to censor myself at work. I still don't really have friends, but at least I'm not quite so hated.
So I told her it really sucks to be the kid everyone hates, because I've been there, and this person sounds just like me when I was a kid. She told me, as if to soften the blow, "Well, I always try to be nice when I'm around her."
"And I bet she thinks you're her friend?"
"Yeah, she does."
"That's even worse, when you find out all the people you think are your friends really hate you. Don't do that to her. Because I'm sure she doesn't really want to be all those things you said about her."
This is the movie-script summary of that account; obviously there was a lot more Aspie quirk involved on my part, being a particularly emotional subject.
The symptoms I mentioned above are, perhaps, the most irritating traits we have to Neurotypicals. And especially in those of us who are higher functioning, they don't seem like symptoms, but highly undesireable personality flaws.
Growing up, various well-meaning but ignorant family members attempted to give me advice on how to make friends, but their messages couldn't get through because it's like we speak a different language. Narcissistic/ arrogant? But how can I possibly be narcissistic when I have such a low self-esteem? Aspies are 10 times more likely to have suicidal thoughts than NTs. Unemphatic? Oh my God, didn't I just tell you that story about that tragedy that gives me the insight into your pain? Dominating conversations/ interrupting/ talking about stuff no one else cares about/ too loud/ rude? I'm interacting the only way I know how. I now know that I lack the mirror neurons to pick up on those social graces, and naturally tend to interact with the conversational skills of a young child- they don't understand about taking turns, when they get excited they want to tell you all about it, and manners are likely to be forgotten.
It's actually a bit ironic how NTs are so annoyed by our conversational habbits. When you get a group of Aspies on the same wavelength, we speak naturally, bluntly, interruptingly, and go off on wild tangents, returning to topic, then going off again and again. But the depth, complexity, detail and passion involved is unparalleled in NT chatting. We have no idea why you people engage in small talk... it serves NO purpose!
The insight I have on this topic is unusual- one of the hallmarks of Asperger's is our obliviousness to both social cues and our own lack of adherence to them. I have to give credit to psychedelic mushrooms. That experience changed my life. I saw it all for the first time- how everything I did was misinterpreted. It wasn't a problem with my personality, rather I realized the tactics I was using were not only ineffective, but counterproductive in the goal of making friends.
I also learned how to listen. And it was a shock to discover that I didn't know how before. But listening requires effort and patience and curiosity, which had never occurred to me.
Psilocybin mushrooms are, of course, illegal, but there has been a push recently to study their effects, particularly on depression. I'd love to see a study done on Aspies. There is simply no medication to help our condition, and without an expansion of consciousness we are doomed to repeat our mistakes forevermore.
Six months after my "trip," someone in my Vegas community said to me, "I don't know what happened, but you've become much more pleasant to be around." Kind of a jab within a compliment, but still the best news I'd ever heard.
I hope I made a difference for this person the student worker was talking about. It's horrible to be in that position, especially when you don't know why.
Even with the knowledge I have, interaction is still difficult. In fact, it's downright exhausting constantly trying to censor myself at work. I still don't really have friends, but at least I'm not quite so hated.
Monday, March 30, 2015
Life's Persuit
As an individual with Asperger's Syndrome, I have a number of obsessions, and like all Aspies, would love nothing more than to find a way to combine them all into something meaningful, and pour my soul into it. Because that's what Aspies are designed to do.
Most people, I think, are more interested in the classic American Dream of a happy family and financial stability. Life, Liberty, and the persuit of Happiness and all that.
Then there's the wealthy. The problem is, you can't amass wealth unless you make that your life pursuit. The New York Times
ran an article quoting a study that demonstrates that wealth shapes a person's stance on politics, taxes, and equality. An anonymous Silicon Valley engineer is quoted, "Before I had much money, I thought there should be 100% estate tax on dynastic wealth... ... Once you're playing the game, it's game on."
The article goes on to describe the wealthy as viewing the less fortunate as not taking advantage of education, and that wealth is a reflection of hard work and character. The archetypal character in this case being the Miser, and you know they won't admit THAT. But let's be frank: for all the fanfare the mega-wealthy keep giving about their charity work, I don't see any of them giving up their multibillionaire status. They'd be fine with just a couple million in the bank and pump the rest back into the economy.
More than fine.
But it's not about financial stability anymore, about having a happy family who can make ends meet. It's a competition. Because they want to be better than the rest of us. And here they are buying our politicians, because having more money than everyone isn't enough.
The whole thing is ironic to me, especially how our struggling society disapproves of the inequality yet accepts, expects, and honors the striving to climb the ladder. Artistic lifestyles, lived for the joy we find in our creativity though frequently low on cash, are frowned upon by the mainstream.
It's Van Gogh's birthday, and we remember him not for his money (he had none) but for the gifts he gave mankind by NOT waiting tables or joining the rat race. It gives me comfort that despite the naysayers, a poor life can be a priceless one.
Most people, I think, are more interested in the classic American Dream of a happy family and financial stability. Life, Liberty, and the persuit of Happiness and all that.
Then there's the wealthy. The problem is, you can't amass wealth unless you make that your life pursuit. The New York Times
ran an article quoting a study that demonstrates that wealth shapes a person's stance on politics, taxes, and equality. An anonymous Silicon Valley engineer is quoted, "Before I had much money, I thought there should be 100% estate tax on dynastic wealth... ... Once you're playing the game, it's game on."
The article goes on to describe the wealthy as viewing the less fortunate as not taking advantage of education, and that wealth is a reflection of hard work and character. The archetypal character in this case being the Miser, and you know they won't admit THAT. But let's be frank: for all the fanfare the mega-wealthy keep giving about their charity work, I don't see any of them giving up their multibillionaire status. They'd be fine with just a couple million in the bank and pump the rest back into the economy.
More than fine.
But it's not about financial stability anymore, about having a happy family who can make ends meet. It's a competition. Because they want to be better than the rest of us. And here they are buying our politicians, because having more money than everyone isn't enough.
The whole thing is ironic to me, especially how our struggling society disapproves of the inequality yet accepts, expects, and honors the striving to climb the ladder. Artistic lifestyles, lived for the joy we find in our creativity though frequently low on cash, are frowned upon by the mainstream.
It's Van Gogh's birthday, and we remember him not for his money (he had none) but for the gifts he gave mankind by NOT waiting tables or joining the rat race. It gives me comfort that despite the naysayers, a poor life can be a priceless one.
Friday, March 20, 2015
Ritual Network is on Hiatus
I'm sorry to not have explained this sooner, but it is my great regret that Ritual Network is not currently running due to lack of internet availability. Someday I will be back, and my hope is to have even more tools available for solitary Witches. (I have some ideas in mind... Maybe an app?)
Friday, March 13, 2015
Asperger's, Bullies, and Cakes
Lately I've been having a difficult time at work, which is the dining hall of a college where I hold the title of Lead Baker. It is a challenging job anyway, where my duties include making fresh muffins and breakfast pastries every morning starting at 5am, all the desserts for lunch and dinner (usually 2-3 choices per meal, serving anywhere between 30 and 500 depending on the popularity of the item), making pizza dough from scratch daily with a recipe calling for an entire 50 lb bag of mondako flour, and any catering that comes up, like if the staff meeting wants cookies or the college hosts an open house and they need 3,000 lemon bars, it all comes to me. But that's not exactly where I'm having trouble these days.
My trouble lies where it always has as an Aspergian- in social dynamics. Since childhood I have been targeted by bullying cliques, like I have a psychic "kick me" sign hanging over my head. Usually it's subtle: rude things spoken behind my back then laughed about later in plain sight, then sabotaging my belongings.
Confrontations are rare with female bullies, but I've had them. I still have no idea what to do during a confrontation- I always end up in tears. Except the last one, where I punched the girl in the nose. Actually, I still cried, because I felt bad and knew it was inappropriate. I was suspended from school for three days, so everyone knew. No one bothered me after that. It actually bothers me that the only effective tactic I've found is an act of violence- it's against everything I believe in, but none of my peaceful attempts have done a bit of good.
And it's been happening again. No confrontations, thank goodness, just people pretending to be friendly just to gossip behind my back. (Dang, ladies, if you want to know my scandals, just read my blog! The real me is way more interesting than some suppositions based on a very watered down and censored version of my personality.) And I suspect one woman who worked in the dishroom had been hiding my kitchen tools, but she quit immediately when I told the Chef something was up. At least she's out of my hair and the others have been shifted into low gear.
This has been going on for about a year and a half, but the way girls play it, you don't even know it's happening at first. I was as friendly as possible, and I thought I could do a better job socializing than I did as a student. As a person with Asperger's Syndrome (a diagnosis now absorbed into the Autism Spectrum), I tend to be quirky, and I don't receive the more subtle communication that neurotypicals take for granted. MRIs show that people on the Autism Spectrum tend to lack mirror neurons, which identify with the person whom you are watching, helping you understand where they're coming from, knowing what to expect from them, and guessing what their motivations are, as well as helping children learn proper social behaviors and recognizing what society frowns upon. Since people like me lack those neurons, none of that applies, and my social interactions are processed through my logic and creative centers. Sarcasm is challenging for me as I interpret the literal meaning first, followed by an ascertation that it must be a sarcastic statement or the sarcasm simply flies right over my head.
Bracketing back to gleaning motivations, mine tend to be misconstrued by others. Autistic people tend to have very pure intentions of just wanting to interact and be friendly in the only way we know how, which tends to be with the social sophistication of a young child. Aspies want to talk nonstop about their favorite interests, and have no interest whatsoever in small talk. Taking turns in the conversation is not well managed. But juxtaposed with our expansive vocabularies, people decide we are arrogant, and that we don't care about their opinion.
It took a magic mushroom trip in 2007 to help me see a lot of this, and a long time after that to turn around habits ineffective to my goals. I learned to listen actively. And I thought that learning these lessons would prevent a repeat of my high school days. That the clique targeted me again was a real blow to my ego, and I've been processing a lot lately. But as I process these emotions, my body too seems to be breaking free of those patterns, and it feels good. But there's a painful realization that no matter how hard I try, I'm always going to be that quirky Aspie girl that the mean girls will target.
My trouble lies where it always has as an Aspergian- in social dynamics. Since childhood I have been targeted by bullying cliques, like I have a psychic "kick me" sign hanging over my head. Usually it's subtle: rude things spoken behind my back then laughed about later in plain sight, then sabotaging my belongings.
Confrontations are rare with female bullies, but I've had them. I still have no idea what to do during a confrontation- I always end up in tears. Except the last one, where I punched the girl in the nose. Actually, I still cried, because I felt bad and knew it was inappropriate. I was suspended from school for three days, so everyone knew. No one bothered me after that. It actually bothers me that the only effective tactic I've found is an act of violence- it's against everything I believe in, but none of my peaceful attempts have done a bit of good.
And it's been happening again. No confrontations, thank goodness, just people pretending to be friendly just to gossip behind my back. (Dang, ladies, if you want to know my scandals, just read my blog! The real me is way more interesting than some suppositions based on a very watered down and censored version of my personality.) And I suspect one woman who worked in the dishroom had been hiding my kitchen tools, but she quit immediately when I told the Chef something was up. At least she's out of my hair and the others have been shifted into low gear.
This has been going on for about a year and a half, but the way girls play it, you don't even know it's happening at first. I was as friendly as possible, and I thought I could do a better job socializing than I did as a student. As a person with Asperger's Syndrome (a diagnosis now absorbed into the Autism Spectrum), I tend to be quirky, and I don't receive the more subtle communication that neurotypicals take for granted. MRIs show that people on the Autism Spectrum tend to lack mirror neurons, which identify with the person whom you are watching, helping you understand where they're coming from, knowing what to expect from them, and guessing what their motivations are, as well as helping children learn proper social behaviors and recognizing what society frowns upon. Since people like me lack those neurons, none of that applies, and my social interactions are processed through my logic and creative centers. Sarcasm is challenging for me as I interpret the literal meaning first, followed by an ascertation that it must be a sarcastic statement or the sarcasm simply flies right over my head.
Bracketing back to gleaning motivations, mine tend to be misconstrued by others. Autistic people tend to have very pure intentions of just wanting to interact and be friendly in the only way we know how, which tends to be with the social sophistication of a young child. Aspies want to talk nonstop about their favorite interests, and have no interest whatsoever in small talk. Taking turns in the conversation is not well managed. But juxtaposed with our expansive vocabularies, people decide we are arrogant, and that we don't care about their opinion.
It took a magic mushroom trip in 2007 to help me see a lot of this, and a long time after that to turn around habits ineffective to my goals. I learned to listen actively. And I thought that learning these lessons would prevent a repeat of my high school days. That the clique targeted me again was a real blow to my ego, and I've been processing a lot lately. But as I process these emotions, my body too seems to be breaking free of those patterns, and it feels good. But there's a painful realization that no matter how hard I try, I'm always going to be that quirky Aspie girl that the mean girls will target.
Thursday, February 26, 2015
The War of Against Christianity?
(An updated version of this post and all blogs on the subject of religion have been moved to ravensreligiousstudies.blogspot.com )
(Note: when I speak of Christianity in this post, I am specifically referring to the conservative institution in the USA, and certainly not all Christians.) Just yesterday, lawmakers in Idaho proposed making the state officially and formally a Christian state. Thank goodness, most of the other lawmakers have brains enough to recognize the bill's unconstitutionality and immediately moved to shelve the suggestion. But bills like this have been popping up across the country, claiming to be a response to the "war against Christianity" supposedly being waged by humanists and homosexuals and freaks like myself. It doesn't matter how many times we all explain that there is no war against Christianity, that we have no interest in taking their rights away, etc. They're convinced. So I thought about it, and maybe they're right: maybe the war Christianity started centuries ago against paganism and homosexuals and science never really ended, They just say it's our war against Christianity to justify their preemptive strikes. So, if we ARE in a war (see http://www.afa.net/bigotrymap# for their "battle plans"), we need to consider things carefully... Just as the U S is not at war with Islam, (except, apparently, the Christian right... Coincidence?) but religious extremism and terror, we need to make fully clear that we are at war with Christian special privilege. Some thoughts I have in this line are: Christians do not get to define marriage when other religions have different opinions- we DO have a constitution. Christians do not get to claim their religious rights are violated by gay marriage any more than Jews get to claim persecution by bacon. Christmas is not the only winter holiday that matters. If Christian creationism gets taught in schools as fact, so does Hinduism's creation story. If you get proselytize me, I get to bless you by calling the four elements. If you say abortion is an abomination to God, you better be damn well prepared to submit evidence that your God exists but mine doesn't, and it better hold more water than, "Because the Bible says so."
(Note: when I speak of Christianity in this post, I am specifically referring to the conservative institution in the USA, and certainly not all Christians.) Just yesterday, lawmakers in Idaho proposed making the state officially and formally a Christian state. Thank goodness, most of the other lawmakers have brains enough to recognize the bill's unconstitutionality and immediately moved to shelve the suggestion. But bills like this have been popping up across the country, claiming to be a response to the "war against Christianity" supposedly being waged by humanists and homosexuals and freaks like myself. It doesn't matter how many times we all explain that there is no war against Christianity, that we have no interest in taking their rights away, etc. They're convinced. So I thought about it, and maybe they're right: maybe the war Christianity started centuries ago against paganism and homosexuals and science never really ended, They just say it's our war against Christianity to justify their preemptive strikes. So, if we ARE in a war (see http://www.afa.net/bigotrymap# for their "battle plans"), we need to consider things carefully... Just as the U S is not at war with Islam, (except, apparently, the Christian right... Coincidence?) but religious extremism and terror, we need to make fully clear that we are at war with Christian special privilege. Some thoughts I have in this line are: Christians do not get to define marriage when other religions have different opinions- we DO have a constitution. Christians do not get to claim their religious rights are violated by gay marriage any more than Jews get to claim persecution by bacon. Christmas is not the only winter holiday that matters. If Christian creationism gets taught in schools as fact, so does Hinduism's creation story. If you get proselytize me, I get to bless you by calling the four elements. If you say abortion is an abomination to God, you better be damn well prepared to submit evidence that your God exists but mine doesn't, and it better hold more water than, "Because the Bible says so."
Friday, February 13, 2015
Happy 50 Shades Day!
(Adult content will now be found at raventaboo.blogspot.com )
(Photo has been removed to comply with Blogger's new censorship policy, which was a waste of time because they didn't implement it.) Happy
ppy 50 Shades Day! Yes, I'm actually excited about this movie. I couldn't get through the book, but I think the movie will be better because the actors will give the characters more life and depth. But that's not what I'm excited for. I'm excited that it will reach an even bigger audience of vanilla people and give my community some visibility. Suddenly it's a note acceptable lifestyle, and perhaps somehow it will make room for polyamory to become more accepted, too. When co workers ask what i did over the weekend, I'm afraid to honestly answer. They all knew about Ru because we've been together a long time... But how do I explain my secondary when most of my coworkers don't even know I'm a Witch? Some of them are pretty conservative, so I've kept my mouth shut- I'm not trying to start drama. But it pains me that I can't be myself at work. For me, BDSM and polyamory essential to my sexual wellbeing. As an LGBT person says, "This is who I am," and "I was born this way," kink is not something I just use to spice up the sex life. I knew I was kinky before I knew I was sexual- I tried to get boys to tie me up or handcuff me WAY before I was even dating. (Cops and Robbers!) It's not just something to spice up my sex life, and it has served much deeper purposes in my life, as a catalyst for some spiritual experiences. But there's a lot of judgement and misinformation out there, and even potential discrimination. In Vegas I felt liberated, but the more conservative areas of the country- that is, virtually everywhere else- sexuality is still something to be hidden and deviance shamed. So I'm excited that it's coming out. We probably won't see it right away, but my boys and I and the girl we've been flirting with are going. To me, supporting this movie equals supporting the BDSM Scene and it's place in our culture.
(Photo has been removed to comply with Blogger's new censorship policy, which was a waste of time because they didn't implement it.) Happy
ppy 50 Shades Day! Yes, I'm actually excited about this movie. I couldn't get through the book, but I think the movie will be better because the actors will give the characters more life and depth. But that's not what I'm excited for. I'm excited that it will reach an even bigger audience of vanilla people and give my community some visibility. Suddenly it's a note acceptable lifestyle, and perhaps somehow it will make room for polyamory to become more accepted, too. When co workers ask what i did over the weekend, I'm afraid to honestly answer. They all knew about Ru because we've been together a long time... But how do I explain my secondary when most of my coworkers don't even know I'm a Witch? Some of them are pretty conservative, so I've kept my mouth shut- I'm not trying to start drama. But it pains me that I can't be myself at work. For me, BDSM and polyamory essential to my sexual wellbeing. As an LGBT person says, "This is who I am," and "I was born this way," kink is not something I just use to spice up the sex life. I knew I was kinky before I knew I was sexual- I tried to get boys to tie me up or handcuff me WAY before I was even dating. (Cops and Robbers!) It's not just something to spice up my sex life, and it has served much deeper purposes in my life, as a catalyst for some spiritual experiences. But there's a lot of judgement and misinformation out there, and even potential discrimination. In Vegas I felt liberated, but the more conservative areas of the country- that is, virtually everywhere else- sexuality is still something to be hidden and deviance shamed. So I'm excited that it's coming out. We probably won't see it right away, but my boys and I and the girl we've been flirting with are going. To me, supporting this movie equals supporting the BDSM Scene and it's place in our culture.
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
A Look at Hate
Lately the headlines are dominated by stories revolving around hate: jihad, racism, discrimation based on sexual orientation... It seems to be the topic of the year. But I feel like no one is really looking at this right. I think most everyone agrees that hate is a horrible thing, so how on Earth is it so pervasive? Because when it happens, we turn a blind eye. We don't see it for what it is, because the root of hate has nothing to do with race or religion or sexual orientation. People think that hate should feel like anger or jealousy, a burning desire to harm. In my experience, hate is directed at chosen targets based on an entitlement, or an excuse as to why picking on that person is acceptable, but hate is originally sourced from a desire to be "better" than something else, due to insecurities. Think about the fact that there are lists of people "we love to hate." Hollywood thrives on this. Yes, that's all hate is. Everyone's felt it. Everything else is just a matter of how insecure the hateful person is, how entitled they feel to pick on the other person, how riled up they're feeling at the moment, and what they think they can get away with. It's really no different from bullying, and it's far more widespread, perpetuated by "harmless" jokes among friends, awkward moments that inspire teasing, and the tendency to justify the little stuff that unfairly adds up. We can't solve this issue through pointing fingers at who is hating on who and demanding they stop. There has to be a real transition in our culture toward admitting to ourselves when we aren't treating a person fairly, for whatever reason, and making efforts to treat others the way we want them to treat us.
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